Hey Joe is That You?? - (Disguise Yourself as a Guy for Survival Sake)

Do you think there is a chance our safety could be compromised as a result of our gender in a ‘PHTF’ scenario?

I mean, let's say we had to get out of town fast.  And, for some unforeseen reason you were not able to get to your vehicle, or home for that matter, and had to start hoofing it on foot alone - hopefully with some form of survival supplies in tow (again stressing the necessity to keep a survival bag of some sort close to you at all times).

Here you are in the midst of a bazillion refugees (yes the 'Golden Horde').

A female walking alone. 

So thinking about this situation, what do you think the chances are that you could be singled out sooner or later because you are female?  You know, like a predator stalks a weaker prey? Picking them off one by one?

If you were a guy would it make any difference?

This is a scary thought and got me to thinking.  What if we disguised ourselves as a guy?

You know, get in touch with our 'masculine side'?

I think we could do pretty well with the disguise part.  But act like a guy?  That just goes against the very grain of who we are!

The clothes part is easy.  Jeans, t-shirt, flannel shirt, boots, and a ball cap (or hoodie).

But, how about the mannerisms?

How do guys act?  Hmmmmm?

I began researching 'guy habits' (I know I just have too much time on my hands).

Before I start, as a caveat, I know that all guys do not act the same.  This is just a reference point.

The closest thing I think we would probably get to imitating a guy, is to talk in a deep voice, right?  That is the best our comfort zone would allow.  You know like when we describe what a man said to someone else and we talk in that weird man voice?  

For our safety sake, this is something that we really may want to think seriously about and approach it like another survival tool.

This is what I found.  Again, let me stress this is not all guys.

Okay, here goes.  Guys tend to make loud noises (ewww! I can hear you now) and not excuse themselves for any of them.

By loud noises, I'm talking burps, farts, grunting, throat clearing, spitting, snorting, slurping and hocking lugies - just to name a few.

Then there's the crotch scratching and of course the 'rearranging' thing (I'll not even go there). 

Also, guys tend to talk loud and at times with a full mouth of food (I'm not trying to be disgusting just factual).

Think everything we are not and incorporate these things.

There you have it.  My 'Guy Mannerisms 101'.

I myself never thought of this type of a disguise for my safety.  But if you saw a group of guys in front of you and/or in back of you as a refugee, I would think long and hard about blending in opposed to standing out.

As a suggestion you might want to try some of these mannerisms – even if it’s just in the privacy of your home.  It will feel really awkward at first because we girls don’t sweat, belch and do other bodily things in public. 

Just as with any survival skill you need to practice  - a lot>

Mmaybe a good time would be Halloween - see if you can pass as a guy – if it works you know you have another sure fire survival tool.

So get to practicing Mr. Man!

- Survivor Jane

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